Azul

Azul

Descending bottomless well of tears

Blindly falling down for years

Rusty tin pail full of fears

Empty ninety-nine bottles of beers

*

Darkness spanning zero gravity
Knocked the wind right out of me
Sunshine I can no longer see
Black hole of reality

*

Dig a hole all the way to China
Fly back stateside on a jet airliner
Catwalk bloodsick for the drug designer
Blacklung breath of an old coal miner

*

Honeycombed tombstones read and weep
Driveby shootings of the bleating sheep
Sweat opiate milkbone while kicking the sheet
Unconscious twelve years still can't get no sleep

*

Three rusty nails pierce Holy Trinity

Peace on Earth sick tranquility

From a million miles before one face I see

Life and death rage inside of me

*

Photochrome blackout bound by chlorine strings

Two bloody hands shake like hummingbird wings

Riptide lockjaw in my eyes it stings

These are just a few of my deadliest things

*

And when I close my eyes

You are all I see

And when the shadows crawl

Your voice keeps calling me

Then I start this crying

Know I'm slowly dying

And I wonder why again

Open channel to your heart

I sailed right through

Adrift beyond the sea inside of you

Azul

Look inside your eyes forever blue

Azul

Copyright 2009 Steven M. Jenkins / 69ranch studios

Photos courtesy of Google Images.

And this is for the People of The Sun.

It's not everyday that the sun sets in this fashion.

Sometimes you just are in the right place at the right time.

Wednesday, January 7th, 2009, dusk.

Hell, I've been in "the right place" for dang near 30 days,

and as gorgeous as these hills are everyday, this time was special.

I woulda paid good money to see this, & in a way I reckon I did.

I couldn't believe the palette of colors spanning the range.

I'd never witnessed a 360-degree sunset like this before either.

But that fiery red stretched all the way around the entire 28 acres,

with a sultry ocean of pink and gray clouds churning moody orchids.

The camera captured colors the eye could not hold,

as the sky canvas was shifting toward fade-to-black.

I was mesmerized, wide-eyed with burning desire.

"Paint the sky with desire, angel fly, Heaven's on fire."

Ode to Celeze Dion

For the bomb gang bayou gurlz from the 225,
kicking it in the skybox down in the NOLA,
at tonight's Celene Dion gig...I hope you brought barfbags.

A humble-ub Ode:

Scab sandwiches
Bugs on top
Camel vomit
Vulture snot
69 assholes
Tie it in a knot
Hooray
Lizard shit
Fuck.



GET OUT OF THE HORNETS' HIVE
BEFORE YOU JIVE UP THEIR GAME,
YOU POST-MENOPAUSAL CANADIAN BANSHEE.

Be safe Bayou Gurlz...see you back in the 225.
HiJenx
n'm'out

Coal train, diamond mine.

Let me try to paraphrase, looking through the rose-colored glasses of my newfound perspective. I've always sensed there was this 'something' smoldering within me all along, but it was being systematically denied through my own ego-driven thoughts, and continual self-identification with this lifelong illusory pain-body within which I thought was myself. Epiphany can arise in any form, at any time, if you are ready and willing to see.

R.A.W.

Under the perfect conditions, given enough pressure and intense heat when shifting layers of rock compress black coal, the natural result is a crystal clear diamond, needing only the facets cut in order to radiate every color in the spectrum as a perfect prism. The life-form coal becomes "enlightened" if you will, its true ethereal quality revealed after its transformation. Both the coal and the diamond are from the same underlying source, the One Life, but without the enlightenment, we would never see the transformation into its new "consciousness." This ethereal nature spellbinds us much the same way a flower does, but not so much the plant from which the flower arises. As humans, we all have within us the innerdwelling precious diamond, the Presence, the One Life, which shines like the sun when we are infants. But through the collective human dysfunction and egoic identification with physical forms and raw unchecked emotion and thought, our "shine" is shrouded or encased by years upon years of layers of "coal", until we can no longer recognize the beautiful Oneness within ourselves and every other life-form. We cannot always see that everything is everything, all from the one Life Source, regardless of how beautiful or enchanting or even just plain as paper or as simple as a chair, or black as coal. That is, until the pressure of Awareness, the Presence of Being, the I AM smashes through our dysfunction to start the chain reaction of enlightenment. If I had my guitar I would play you this diddy by John Anderson:

Hey I'm just an old chunk of coal
But I'm gonna be a diamond some day
I'm gonna grow and glow till I'm so blue pure perfect
I'm gonna put a smile on everybody's face
I'm gonna kneel and pray everyday
Lest I should become vain along the way
I'm just an old chunk of coal now Lord
But I'm gonna be a diamond some day.

I'm gonna learn the best way to walk
I'm gonna search and find me a better way to talk
I'm gonna spit and polish my old rough-edged self
'Till I get rid of every single flaw
I'm gonna be the world's best friend
I'm gonna go 'round shaking everybody's hand
I'm gonna be the cotton pickin' rage of the age
I'm gonna be a diamond some day.

Now I'm just an old chunk of coal...

...but I'm gonna be a diamond someday!

HOT DAMN!
Like in Sunday School when we sang: "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine..."
It's an option. So is backsliding. So is living unconscious. So is hell on earth.
Jackass Jenkins (a.k.a. Steven Michael White)

"Shine On You Crazy Diamond (I-V)" Pink Floyd

Remember when you were young, you shone like the sun.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Now there's a look in your eyes, like black holes in the sky.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

You were caught on the crossfire of childhood and stardom,

blown on the steel breeze.

Come on you target for faraway laughter,

come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!

You reached for the secret too soon, you cried for the moon.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Threatened by shadows at night, and exposed in the light.

Shine on you crazy diamond.

Well you wore out your welcome with random precision,

rode on the steel breeze.

Come on you raver, you seer of visions,

come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine!

n'm'out

Awakening

I've got so many wheels turning in my head at once,

I'm getting anxious.

I want to examine and understand every thought, feeling & reaction,

to the Nth degree.

I've seen how mysticism, Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism, and other

religions can be right simultaneously,

if you seek the truth and consciousness in each one of them.

Ultimately they all have been contaminated in their modern forms,

by the collective human egoistic dysfunction.

But I knew, honestly, deeply, for years, that I could feel, sense,

even at times tap into the One true underlying Life source,

the Oneness of all life-forms that I've been speaking to friends about,

and searching for answers from for so long now.

Now I understand why I've embraced the label of 'backslider,'

and discredited my particular strain of brainwashed Southern Baptist upbringing,

especially since I fell for love & living sweeter with the

always alluring agnostic atheistic angelic Anna.

Long ago I chose to believe in a universal loving higher power,

somewhere radiating between the parallels of Mother Nature, Science,

Love everlasting, the human spirit,

and the beginning & end of all time and space.

SHE is revealing to me, one shining facet at a time.

It is not the god with a capital 'G.'

I wish you Desperation, Awareness, Presence, and Peace beyond all understanding.

Elvis Freaking BuddyChrist

n'm'out

Nothing changes on New Year's Day

a new year.
12 months.
52 weeks.
365 days.
8,760 hours.
525,600 minutes.
31,536,000 seconds. Or second chances.
Or one continuous line from where you stand right now,
all the way around the sun, to where you stand this time next year.
The only thing that changes is you.

"Hey buddy, could you spare some change?"
"Here's 10 bucks, now get the fuck away from my car.
And hey, Buddy Christ...change comes from within."

Everyday is New Year's Day.

Was It 26?
Living hard was easy, when I was young and bullet proof
I had no chains to bind me, just a guitar and a roof
Emptied every bottle, when I poured, I never missed
I had bloodshot eyes at 25...or was it 36?

It didn't seem to matter what price I had to pay
'Cause anything worth having I'd just lose anyway
My friends worried about me, they asked if I was sick
Thought I would die at 25...or was it 36?

Those two year years run together like whiskey over ice
Melting into memories like somebody else's life
I'm glad to say I've hung around, but if I could have one wish
I'd like another try at 25...or was it 36?

I met a girl from Georgia, smart & pretty college grad
I thought my luck was changing, 'til then it'd all been bad
Guess I fell in love with her, all it took was just one kiss
But she said goodbye at 25...or was it 36?

Those two years run together like whiskey over ice
Melting into memories like somebody else's life
I'm glad to say I've hung around, but if I could have one wish
I'd like another try at 25...or was it 36?

Yeah, I've been down that road before, almost as far as hell
Deception or redemption, I guess only time will tell
I have faith in the knowledge that God gave us a gift
I couldn't hide at 25...or was it 36?

Those two years run together like whiskey over ice
Melting into memories like somebody else's life
I'm glad to say I've come around, but if I could have one wish
I'd like another try at 25...or was it 36?
Yeah, I'd like another try at 35...or was is 26?

CDB

n'm'out